Devastator.
A fan favourite if ever there was one. The myriad unofficial
versions of the Constructicons are a testament to the less than jolly green
giants enduring popularity. And not since the live action movie series’
namesake almost slapped his bollocks in John Turturro’s face has a combiner
courted so much controversy as this Hasbro effort.
Clocking in at a massive 18 inches tall, this herculean robot
first made headlines back in January 2015 after photobombing a bald German
attending Nuremberg Toy Fair. Cries of ‘RUINED FOREVER’ as well as delighted
purrings of anticipation quickly followed. The official reveal at New York Toy
Fair crystallised feelings towards this giftset and it’s safe to say that the
Constructicons’ debut split a lot of folk straight down the middle. Simplicity
and size have taken precedent over complexity and articulation, the end result
aiming to deliver the definitive Devastator at an affordable (comparative to
his 3rd Party rivals at least) price point. But in doing so, have Hasbro delivered
a true Titan class killer to the Combiner Wars or have these design choices
simply poured liquid haterade upon a raging flame war?
Easy there. Let’s take a look at the Constructicons
themselves first.
Scrapper and Scavenger |
Packaged in vehicle mode, I was immediately taken aback by
the size of the damn things. The second thing that hit me is how cartoony they
are. Strong notes of 1985 melt into a lingering Sunbow finish. I’m drinking a
vintage drop of Heavy Metal War aged in bleached VHS right here. This is a good
feeling.
Hook and Long Haul |
They’re not light either. In fact they feel pretty decent
(it’s certainly a different type of plastic than normally used though) but
those awful clip on wheels never look good anywhere, seem cheap as hell at this
size and some silver rims on toys this big would’ve definitely helped offset
that. It also appears that somebody forgot to colour Bonecrusher in. Although
that is accurate.
Bonecrusher and Mixmaster |
All of them, bar one, do a fantastic job at looking like
they rolled out of the cartoon. I get that Hook takes some liberties (that
suspicious purple block in the middle of the vehicle is fooling no one, son), hell they all do to some
degree but Mixmaster is the anomaly here. Turning him into a frontloading cement
mixer definitely flies in the face of the cartoon love fest the rest of them
are having. I understand that this was to help create a stronger leg for
Devastator, but ain’t nobody inviting Mixmaster to their alt mode party this
weekend. Perfect Effect might have their own plans for that though. Them and
about 8 million other guys. We’ll touch on the vultures circling as the review
progresses.
No cake or vodka for you Mixmaster. Not now. Not ever. |
In the meantime, these are all big badass construction
vehicles. Long Haul in particular is a giant. I do lament the lack of functionality
in these forms. What you do have is limited (Hook’s crane - it just goes up) or
plain non-existent (Long Haul’s truck bed - fixed) but Kid Me wouldn’t mind.
Kid Me would be too busy flipping Autobots with Scrapper’s scoop, swinging
Scavenger’s shovel at volcano ceilings and generally just smashing them into
stuff. Yeah, Kid Me..
Listen, they look good, they feel good and they evoke the
cartoon all over your play space. Round 1 done and I am satisfied.
None of the transformations are a bother. Some, like
Mixmaster’s sadly, are pretty uninspired and see the guy basically lying down
for a kip. Others, like Scavenger and Bonecrusher are nicely involved. But
crucially they’re easy to flip back and forth and that keeps a big part of Combiner
Wars’ play pattern going. These are toys first and foremost and there’s no need
to set aside a chunk of time to transform these Constructicons. A chunk of
space, however..?
‘Scrapper, report!’
'All present or accounted for noble leader..' |
This looks ace.
There are flaws (oh, are there flaws)
but getting this lot together for this shot was a blast. Hasbro have gone for
the animated look writ large with plenty of nods to the original toys decals
and colour layouts. It works. As a group on a shelf, man are they gonna look
the part for you.
Scavenger
Easily one of the most posable Constructicons, Scavenger
also succeeds in being one of the least compromised. Ball jointed all over the
show he can rack in plenty of characterful poses and even with that ridiculous non
face of his, that stuff you need to make it in life?
He’s got it.
Mixmaster
Honestly? Utter garbage. His massive backside makes him slope
back on weak hips, and he lacks the character the others have (this is important) to counter things like weak arm design.
Dat ass.. |
Maybe he’s a slow burner – his face
is evoking the Decepticon symbol in a big way but like his vehicle mode, this
one is doing nothing for me. Dr Wu is actually cashing in (I'm as shocked as you are, my friend) on this weak link and making his own Mixmaster from
scratch. It’ll likely cost at least half as much as this entire set too.
Long Haul
Remember when Cartman went full BEEFCAAAAAAAAAAAKE? Someone else did as well.
The size of this one is staggering. The size and shape and the noises it makes. It's like cocking a gun when you move his hips. There are some glaring issues. His arms are ridiculous affairs that articulate sideways at the elbow. It doesn’t matter. This is one you need in hand to make sense of. Pictures, maestro!
The size of this one is staggering. The size and shape and the noises it makes. It's like cocking a gun when you move his hips. There are some glaring issues. His arms are ridiculous affairs that articulate sideways at the elbow. It doesn’t matter. This is one you need in hand to make sense of. Pictures, maestro!
Hugs for all! |
Hugs and death |
Bonecrusher
The best transformation brings (technically) the best
overall figure in the set to the table. One that is wearing a big green onesie.
Hey, it’s accurate! Reports abound of poorly locking hip tabs are not an issue
on mine and I can see it being more of a mistransformation issue than a design
flaw. Or I got really, really lucky. Another brilliant headsculpt and as with
Scavenger ball joints aplenty, this is Bonecrusher ripped right out of the
cartoon for your pleasure.
Hook
Even with the horrendous (and they are) compromises around
the elbow section Hook almost gets away with it. Why? Presence. His snooty superiority
complex sneers through this sculpt, particularly in that nailed down smug visage of
his. There’s a trend here. You spotted it yet? He is hollow in the legs and
arms though and it’s inescapable however you look at it.
'I'll allow this. We all hate Mixmaster too' |
But his articulation
is surprisingly decent, allowing for some impressive leg and foot motion. A strong showing, and probably my overall favourite.
Scrapper
Probably a bit gorgeous |
A wonderful looking robot, the cartoon influence shines
through in a lovingly on point headsculpt, his colours and detailing are simple
and crisp and then you get to his arms and you’re like, ‘Dude. Where’s My
Elbows?!’ Like his brethren, Scrapper suffers from design elements cut by out Hasbro for financial reasons.
And it blows. It does. Perfect Effect have got a set coming out that give him,
Long Haul and Hook the full forearm makeover.
Though if you can get past this flaw, he is a great toy to
look at, remains fun to play with and the one that actually sold the set to me
in the Toy Fair reveal. Food for thought there. It’s not necessarily always about
moving like Jagger when you’re born with swagger.
Passable |
You two are carrying around the big guys bra. Stop it right now. |
As we bring to a close Part 1, this is an ideal time to
mention the upcoming Unite Warriors Takara release of Devastator in light of
all these 3Ps smelling the blood in the water. As you can see, the
Constructicons have to make do with Devastator’s combiner kibble as weaponry as
opposed to their original guns. The Japanese release rectifies this and actually
gives Scrapper and Long Haul fully functioning arms as well as breaking up
Bonecrusher’s inner treads with some purple. It’s also expensive.
But.. and this is a big but, I did not expect to be this
impressed with the domestic, no frills release. These are toys. Big fun toys.
And sometimes you just want big fun toys. And today I am drowning in big fun toys. Hollow legs, dodgy arms, none of that has actually impeded the fun I am having today with this set. And if you like your Constructicons cartoon, I hope the pictures speak volumes.
Next? Something about preparing for devastation.'It's uncharismatic you pathetic little runts' |